The Cocomotion

Or: Matt phones this one in

It’s been a wild couple of weeks, dear readers. New job and the holidays are just absolutely sapping my ability to provide you with the most up to date news and reviews of Austin’s coffee scene. Since returning from LA my Keurig has been pressed into much more service than usual, and the only coffee shops of note I’ve been at are Houndstooth to remind myself how amazing their Cardayum Cappuccino (one of their seasonal offerings), and Neighbor Coffee and Friends because 1) they’re amazingly good people and 2) they dropped their line of holiday drinks and I shirked some responsibilities to try them. On both accounts I can say that you should hit up those locations and try their drinks, which should be no surprise whatsoever because I’ve already written at length about them both, links (and shameless promotion) below.

Neighbor Coffee & Friends

Houndstooth Coffee

So, that all being said, let’s talk more about some other hot beverages that have less caffeine, but FAR more sugar. Mainly, let’s talk about hot cocoa and the only nonsense kitchen gadget that I’ll allow in my home.

Now that the weather here in Austin occasionally dips down below 50 degrees, and sparingly stays there after the sun comes up, that means it’s hot cocoa time in my house. All three of my wild children love the stuff (because sugar, chocolate, and milk is always a hit) so much so that during last February’s week long winter storm, affectionately dubbed “Snowpocalypse” by one of my former transportation carriers (much to the chagrin of my work BFF [he knows who he is, and I miss our daily conversations]) we used the last of our milk to make them hot cocoa. We were obviously fools to think everything was going to be fine and that we’d have ready and easy access to a kitchen staple (2021 foreshadowing) and we made it on snow day 1. We buy this stuff in bulk at our house. Really, there’s no reason not to, specifically since the world’s best cocoa is made by Swiss Miss and with a little searching the bulk tins can be found in grocery stores. Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff, specifically when you get to measure in scoops instead of envelopes.

But what, dear reader, are you using to make your hot sweet treat? Are you heating your milk up on the stove like a chump? Do you microwave your milk? (which actually pains me to write, and if you do honestly do this you need to stop immediately) Whatever you’re doing to heat up your milk (yes, I said milk not water because hot chocolate made with water is terrible, thin, and hollow) you’re probably not getting to the goal line nearly as fancy as I am, for I, dear reader, have been introduced to the Cocomotion.

The Cocomotion is purpose built for one thing: making the best cup of hot cocoa you’ve ever had. It’s absurd in its creation, preposterous in its manufacturing, and a family friend we welcome back to our countertop each year. Here’s a rundown of the machine: there’s a heating element, a stir thing which runs by way of magnetism, a reservoir for your cocoa, and a button to turn the whole thing on. Literally that’s it, for ~$50 on ebay you too could own one. It’s a very simple device, you pour in your milk, your mix, and you push the button. It swirls the concoction, heats the milk, makes a pleasant whirring sound in operation, and shuts off when its reached the appropriate temperature. Like Pavlov’s dogs my feral children have been trained to listen for the mechanical whirring to stop which indicates it’s cocoa time. They will gleefully run into the kitchen, request endless mini-marshmallows for both mug and mouth, and then delightedly scamper away once they’ve attained their goal.

I was very against its arrival in my house. I’m from the Alton Brown school of cooking which takes a hard line against any “unitaskers”, but my wife made a convert out of me. Early in our marriage she stole the device away from her parents and brought it to our home. I skoffed, I mocked, I resisted, and I relented. It’s so stupid, but I cannot argue with its results. It’s legitimately better than any other method of making hot cocoa and when you try it you’ll believe me. The cocoa is perfectly heated, expertly mixed, and delightfully frothy in a way that would require me to whisk constantly to achieve. I could gush even more, but suffice it to say, it’s good to have an old friend back in our house once again.

Well, that’s all for this week. I’ll try to get out a bit more and try some new places out. If you’re reading this and wondering why the punctuation is so terrible please do not blame my wife/editor, she didn’t edit this one as it’s coming to you without her eyes on it. There’s probably endless amounts of comma splices to be found if you’re the .01% of people who care about grammar and punctuation like she is. Aside from that, thanks so much for reading my mindless drivel, I hope you have a great day.